Feb. 3, 2015, 10:11 p.m.
It doesn't matter the size of your white jeans, one fact I can guarantee, they WILL be your tightest denim. Best way to combat this enigma? Zee poncho. Comfy and loose, flowy and forgiving, it makes up for the squeezing white pant. Oh, and just to show your pale frenemies that you have uncovered their secret, throw on over the knee boots to cover even more leg.
I think Zorro is some place, somewhere rejoicing.